by Alli Rose
Frontperson Ashrita Kumar demanded the crowd at the Ottobar to “scream out all the bullshit.” The audience unleashed a coordinated scream, blending low yells and shrill-pitched shrieks in a chorus of noise that rattled the space. This moment from their opening night of the Love Me Forever tour and release show in October was the crux of their new album: catharsis through sound and movement.
“Getting emotionally shredded, to me, means gaining emotional intelligence, being a lot more self-aware, and making decisions in my life that are good for me. But also, being able to say ‘no’ and set boundaries,” shared Ashrita Kumar, frontperson of Pinkshift, on a cold and wet Tuesday evening over Zoom. Despite the gloomy weather and slow day, the members of Pinkshift brought an unafraid and engaging vulnerability to our conversation.
Pinkshift is a Baltimore band combining sounds of ’90s grunge with contemporary hardcore into authentic songs that make a listener want to yell the lyrics and move their body. The collaboration between vocalist Ashrita Kumar (they/them), drummer Myron Houngbedji (he/him), and guitarist Paul Vallejo (he/him), results in a powerful chemical reaction that animates their listeners. After the release of their 2021 EP Saccharine (Ashrita describes the EP as the band’s “silly era”), Pinkshift has experienced exponential success; touring in the UK, signing to Hopeless Records, and recording their full-length album Love Me Forever with Grammy-nominated producer Will Yip (who has worked with Mannequin Pussy, Tigers Jaw, and Turnstile). With the release of their album, Pinkshift screamed across the U.S. in a whirlwind tour that kicked off in their home city of Baltimore.
Love Me Forever is a charged album, with lyrics written by Ashrita that chronicle their experience of personal turmoil amid our fucked-up world. On track four, “cherry (we’re all going to die),” lyrics are in conversation with one another. “Everything’s going to be okay / it’ll never be okay” is a mantra echoed by a background chorus yelling, “it’ll never be okay.” The song ends with Ashrita’s laughter, a sound familiar to those who giggle anxiously at inappropriate times. The aptly-named fifth track, “the kids aren’t alright,” is musically fast and heavy without being overwhelming, but Ashrita notes that it’s “hard as fuck to sing.” Ashrita also describes “the kids aren’t alright” as a “war cry,” containing lyrics that they feel are the best they’ve written so far. There is something that strikes a chord of generational solidarity when I hear the line, “I’m losing my mind / the world’s ending all the time,” since our generation has witnessed police brutality, natural disasters, mass shootings, a pandemic, and yet we have to carry on “like normal” despite perpetual crises. Yes, I’m losing my mind. “Trust Fall,” track six, is a personal favorite from the album, a deliciously vengeful song about reclamation in killing your abuser.
After the raging catharsis that is “Trust Fall” comes “in a breath,” a piece that stands out on the album as Ashrita performs on piano alone. At the live Ottobar show, Ashrita nervously admitted, “I’ve never played piano for a crowd before,” as their bandmates set up a keyboard and mic for their solo performance of “in a breath.” The previously raucous crowd cooled, hanging on every elongated note that Ashrita sang and played. They skillfully shaped their sound, playing with fluctuations in volume and tempo that provided enough novelty to keep the audience tuned in. The audience waved their phone flashlights in time with the song. At the end, Paul jumped up and wrapped Ashrita in a hug as the crowd whooped and cheered. Myron grabbed his sweat towel for Ashrita to wipe their eyes. “I feel lucky to feel vulnerable,” Ashrita sighed, regaining their composure. “The support we get from Baltimore is unbelievable.” It was a tender moment, providing the audience a brief relief to catch their breath, and the song has the same function on the album as it did in the live show.
Track nine, ‘BURN THE WITCH’—where Ashrita belts the chorus, “you’ve got two feet, why won’t you stand for something?”—returns the album to its hardcore and driving sound. Myron’s drumming and Paul’s shredding fuels the fire of a song that’s meant to critique those who don’t back up proclaimed values with any action.
Ashrita was clear that they didn’t choose to write the album around the theme of turmoil. “It’s just what it’s like to be alive. Even though you do have rage at these big systems of oppression, it becomes a personal rage because you’re personally targeted if you’re anything other than a cis white guy.”
Myron added, “I think how uncertain and how much more apparent things have gotten in terms of how bad things are right now, that naturally bled into what was written. Our reaction in terms of the sound and energy of the songs in addition to the lyrics, culminates from our feelings of what we’ve been experiencing.” Paul agreed: “We’ve attached ourselves to this record because Myron and I have also been going through our own personal turmoil as this band is growing.”
Reflecting on how anger functions for each member, Paul recalled that in his childhood, expressing anger was generally frowned upon; it would signal that his emotions were out of control. Ashrita dubbed Paul the “king of compartmentalization,” but Paul corrected them with his self-appointed title as the “king of repression.” Writing Love me Forever acted as an emotional turning point for Paul. “It’s healthy to feel the full range of what human emotion is, which may be super happy joyfulness to the other end of the spectrum where you want to punch a fucking wall.”
Sure, punching a wall is very punk rock, but remember Paul was using a figure of speech. Let’s save those security deposits and keep knuckles intact; there’s plenty of healthy ways to express strong feelings. Myron explained how he channeled the energy of his anger into his music. “I started playing drums in college, because there was so much stuff going on that pissed me off and it was just a bad time. And I would have all these emotions but instead of letting it fester and destroy me slowly, I would let it out explosively on drums.” Listeners can hear Myron’s percussive energy throughout the album; the propulsive tempo he sets paired with Paul’s dynamic leads creates the perfect storm for songs to dance and head-bang to.
“Anger is a part of healing and making sure you can be your whole self,” Ashrita coolly reflected, her cat’s head popping into frame every few moments. “It prevents you from sinking into yourself and accepting all the shitty things that have happened to you.” Pinkshift is bringing emotional intelligence to the emo and hardcore scene, and if you’re down for feeling all your feelings, listen to Love me Forever.
