How to stop hiding

By Martha McLaughlin, M.F.A. ’16

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Ruth Rathblott ’91 had a thriving career. Living in New York City, she was helping transform both nonprofit and corporate workplaces, first as associate executive director at Big Brothers Big Sisters of NYC, then as executive director at Everybody Wins! and, finally, as CEO and president of the Harlem Education Activities Fund. Yet behind her professional success, a secret weighed heavily.

Rathblott was born with a left hand that was not fully formed. It wasn’t a barrier until she went to a new school when she was 13. Feeling self-conscious, she decided to keep her hand in her pocket, “just for the day,” she told herself. That day stretched into 25 years. Throughout high school, Goucher, graduate school, professional promotions, and even intimate relationships, she hid her hand. “I had a Ph.D. in hiding,” she reflects.

But, in her mid-30s, Rathblott felt isolated and lonely, realizing that this secret was holding her back personally and professionally. Encouraged by a therapist, she shared her secret with a kind and empathetic boyfriend, and this vulnerability changed her life. For the first time, Rathblott saw her limb difference not through shame but through acceptance—and love. The narrative she’d been telling herself, that her hand was “disgusting” or that others would reject her for it, transformed, and it helped her find community and belonging.

An invitation to share her story marked another turning point. “What resonated most with people was this idea of hiding,” she recalls. She got clear about her purpose: to help others unhide and create spaces where everyone feels seen and accepted.

With her newfound mission, she took a sabbatical and moved to Belize, where she wrote her first TEDx talk, “When I Stopped Hiding, I Found Freedom,” and began her memoir, Singlehandedly, which was published in 2022.

Rathblott then left her nonprofit career to launch her own professional speaking, coaching, and consulting business. She now works with corporations, higher education institutions, and nonprofits to transform cultures—encouraging leaders to take the first step toward creating spaces where everyone can thrive. She also joined several boards, including Goucher’s Board of Trustees.

Her second book, Unhide & Seek, published in August 2024, helps readers reflect on what they might be hiding and how unhiding can unlock their potential. “Most of us are hiding something, and it holds us back from truly being seen,” she says.